Attn: Whitefish Hockey Community
SUBJECT: Le PAMPLEMOUSSE!? IS GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS
This weekend at the Stumptown Ice Den the magnificent team “Le PAMPLEMOUSSE!?” will be revealed to the world. The world of hockey will never be the same, it will simply be more awesome.
To all opponents, Le PAMPLEMOUSSE!? would like to offer this insincere apology: “we are sorry, in advance, for absolutely destroying your dignity and self worth.”
Le PAMPLEMOUSSE!? was created for one thing, to kick, stomp, trample, and destroy asses. Team Le PAMPLEMOUSSE!? will also be taking names. After each victory Le PAMPLEMOUSSE will visit the families of the fallen and ridicule them as well. Team Le PAMPLEMOUSSE!? will not only stop at nothing, they will smear peanut butter all over nothing and call nothing names like ‘poo poo face’.
The players of Le PAMPLEMOUSSE!? will snack on tasty pamplemousse between periods and during timeouts because it is refreshing. Team Le PAMPLEMOUSSE!? will speak as much French as they know how to, and if others have a problem with this, they will be called rude names and laughed at with silly French style laughter.
Team Le PAMPLEMOUSSE!? will wear matching socks. Team Le PAMPLEMOUSSE!? will fart in opponent’s general direction. Opponents will not like this, but Le PAMPLEMOUSSE!? will not apologize because they are not sorry. Players of team Le PAMPLEMOUSSE!? will commonly throw their hands in the air like they just don’t care.
Le PAMPLEMOUSSE!? will also not care.
Le PAMPLEMOUSSE!? will win the Monty Huntington Memorial Tournament this weekend, but this will not matter, because they will have already been declared to be the masters of the universe (by themselves). He-Man, Skeletor and anyone else previously claiming to be the master of the universe can get stuffed.